Friendly reminder that Harry Potter straight up murdered a guy with his bare hands when he was 11 years old
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death
Just before this starts, a girl in the audience said, “I forgot to say, you’re both very handsome.”
when people think that moffat wrote every doctor who episode
when people think moffat wrote every sherlock episode
This has easily become the best thing on tumblr
parents making sex jokes
grandparents making sex jokes
nine-year-olds making sex jokes
Welcome to tumblr where we go from parents making sex jokes to sassy Hitler in 0.6 seconds
The official trailer for the New Zealand vampire comedy “What We Do in the Shadows, directed by Jemaine Clement & Taika Waititi, about three vampire flatmates coping with the modern world.
"Haha, ghost cup."
I’M GOING TO WATCH THIS SO HARD.
WE’RE WEREWOLVES NOT SWEARWOLVES
I LOST MY SHIT AT THE FLOATING HISS